What is Trauma Bonding?

Trauma Bonding the psychological response to abuse.  It occurs when a victim of abuse forms an unhealthy relationship with the person that is abusing them.  The victim has developed sympathy or affection for the abuser.  The common sign of trauma is when the victim justifies or defends the behavior of the abuser.  Other signs may include distancing themselves from family, friends, or neighbors for trying to help, becomes defensive or even hostile with the police or others trying to stop the abuse, covers for the abuser.

According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, humans form attachments as a means of survival.  Adults form attachments to those who provide them with comfort and support.  When a person’s main source of support is also their abuser a trauma can develop.

Children rely on their parents for love and support.  If their parent is their abuser, the child will learn to associate love with abuse and are unable to see the parent as “bad or abusive”.

A trauma bond can develop after several days, weeks, or months.  All victims do not develop a trauma bond.  However, once a victim has bonded with their abuser, they may make statements like, “He only acts like that because he loves me.” “You don’t understand, he’s the love of my life and you’re jealous.”

An example of a trauma bond is Stockholm syndrome.  The term Stockholm syndrome mainly refers to a person being held captive and develops positive feelings or affection for their captor.

Trauma bonding often occurs in situations such as domestic violence, child abuse, incest, human trafficking, elder abuse, kidnapping, and religious cults.