Any person involved in an abusive relationship needs a safety plan. Even if a victim has not made up their mind to leave an abusive relationship it is a good idea to have a safety plan. Once physical, sexual or emotional abuse has taken place it will more than likely happen again and it will escalate and possibly become more frequent. Having a safety plan in place is critical for the safety and protection of the victim and their children.
A good Safety Plan will help you carefully plan lifestyle changes that will keep you as safe as possible at home, work, school and other places that you go on a daily basis. It is important to adjust your plans to fit your situation as it changes over time. Below are some basic things to consider when preparing a safety plan.
Contacting a domestic violence agency such as DAYLIGHT, Inc. for assistance with your planning will be helpful.
- Talk to an advocate at a domestic violence agency via telephone or email. It may be safer to contact an advocate while at work or school, this way the abuser cannot trace your call or email communication.
- Put away money for a cab, bus/transit fare in a savings or checking account that the abuser has no knowledge of, preferably at a separate bank or credit union.
- Pack a change of clothes for yourself and your children in an overnight bag. Hide the bag in a safe place such as at the home of a trusted relative or friend, under the house, in the garage or somewhere your abuser cannot find it.
- Pack important papers such as birth certificates, social security cards, insurance cards, medications, prescriptions and papers showing joint ownership of assets. These items should be stored in a safe place like a bank safe deposit box, file cabinet or desk drawer at work, or with a trusted friend.
- Pack Checkbook, credit cards, and valuable jewelry. These items should be stored with important papers.
- Memorize important telephone numbers such as the domestic violence crisis line. When you are in the midst of an incident or emergency it is easier to just dial than to spend time searching for a number. If you must write important numbers down, disguise them as something else the abuser will think a normal circumstance. For example, a domestic violence agency can be listed as a hair salon, school counselor or church youth leader; a domestic violence counselor can be listed as a hairstylist or nail technician.
- Make prior arrangements for a safe place to go so your abuser cannot find you. These arrangements should be discussed with an advocate, trusted relative or friend. Discuss things such as when you plan to leave, how you will arrive, sleeping arrangements and arrangements for getting to work or school.
- Back car in the driveway at all times and keep a full tank of gas for an easy getaway.
- Keep an extra set of keys hidden somewhere on the outside of the house so if the abuser takes your keys you have them handy.
- Keep cell phones charged for making emergency phone calls.
- Develop and practice an escape plan with your children. With small children you may need to disguise escape plan as a game or fire drill… something they’re used to at school that will seem normal.
- Make sure children know how to dial 9-1-1 and know your address.
For help with a safety plan, please email us at info@daylightinc.org.
